The human mind has the ability to focus on one direction at a time. This is the reason that if two people start talking at the same time, we silence one of them and listen to both of them in turn. If the two persons are allowed to speak and after some time they are silenced and an audience is asked to tell, what did they both say? So he will be able to tell not the whole but only the incomplete story of both. Because while listening, the mind was sometimes drawn towards one and sometimes the other. Therefore, the listener will only be able to tell the part of the conversation that he has heard.
One consequence of single-minded attention is that if a child is distracted in a public place, the child is more likely to slip. And children are lost as a result. In this case, we are familiar with children who are lost forever or lost and found. But there are also a large number of children whose parents suddenly thought, “Where has the child gone?” And once they started the search, he was found a few steps away. As if the fear of missing children is one of our constant problems. And no systematic solution is thought to remedy it. Even if you ask someone for a solution, he will only be able to tell you the same solution: Be careful brother.
In our opinion, it is not possible for the human mind not to deviate from the child at any moment, it is not a voluntary but an involuntary process. So the mind will change, and the possibility of the child missing will also remain. The main thing to learn and understand is how to make it easier for the child to meet when he goes missing. In our opinion, it can be made easier so that around the age of two years, the child starts to take the broken names of the members of the household. Usually, the parents forbid him immediately. If Ali addresses Umar by his name, then the parents say:
“No, son, not Umar, call him ‘’Bhai Jan’’.”
In our view, this is wrong. Let the child memorize these names for a year so that the names of all the members of the family are well settled in his mind and he learns to pronounce these names completely and clearly. We kept the routine in this case that at this early age of the grandson Umar Alam when we have to call our elder son through him, we do not say to our grandson, ”Go call your father,” but say:
“Go tell Saladin that Abu is calling.”
And that two-and-a-half-year-old child would go and tell him:
“Abu is saying, call Saladin.”
We did the same with the other grandson, Ali Alam. Thus our two grandsons know the names of all the members of the family. The question is, is it necessary to do so? Yes! It is very important. And it is necessary because when a child goes missing from the parents in a public place, the first question the people who found him ask is:
“Son, what is your name?”
If he tells his name, the next question must be this:
“Son, what is your father’s name?”
If the child tells this too, then some more family names are asked. This makes it very easy to meet him with his family. If it happens in the neighborhood, many people are identified by the name of the father to know who the child is. So the more names he can tell the easier the task will be. You must have noticed that sometimes there is an announcement from the mosque:
“A child has been found, he is about two and a half years old, he says his name is so-and-so, he does not know the name of his parents, he is wearing clothes of this color, whoever belongs to him should come and take him from the such-and-such place.”
This incomplete information is provided by the child because the parent prevented him from collecting complete information. When it is asked to such a child what is the name of your elder brother. He says,” Bhai John”.
Now Bhai Jan is in almost every house. This name cannot help in identification. So this was no information. So let the child take the names of everyone including the parents for one year. When these names are memorized well, at the age of three, we will explain to him that he does not take the names of elders. Father is called Abu, Mother is called Mother, or whatever you want to be called. And the child gives up the real name in just one week.
A very important aspect of pre-preparation for a missing child case is the two or three routes that lead to your home. Start walking the child on these paths in the evening after the age of two and a half years. And every time you come back, put the child in front and tell him to go home. You will find that the child will learn to come accurately to the door of his house from a distance of six to seven furlongs or even longer. Teach the same route identification from a relatively long distance by making him sit on the bike tank or in the car while returning from the local market and say:
“I have to go home, you tell me the way home”
In the beginning, he will make mistakes but in the next three or four turns he will tell you all the turns and the route perfectly. In this way, the possibility of your child getting lost in the neighborhood will be less and less. And if there is a problem, it will be easier for those who need the child to get home by telling them the names of the family members.
The next thing we will do is that around the age of four, we will remind the child of the short address of the house so that it is possible to find the house. For example, remember only the house and street number of the child and keep asking him from time to time, then in case of loss, it will be possible for whoever finds him to bring him to your home. When he turns five years old, then we will remind him of the complete address of the house so that even if he lost in the city it will be possible for those who find him to bring him home even from a long distance.
