No doubt living in Pakistan is very stressful and takes a toll on our mental health. Also, Allah (SWT) will test our temperament during the holy month of Ramadan. All those with a short fuse including myself must try harder to control their anger and our Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) provides us guidance in overcoming this powerful emotion.
As we know, people would approach our Nabi (SAW) for guidance, and on one such occasion, he (SAW) could tell by the demeanor of the person that he was angry and so the Prophet (SAW) offered the following advice, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated [his request for counsel] several times, and [each time] he (SAW) said, “Do not become angry.” (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet (SAW) is not instructing us to not get angry but instead telling us not to allow our anger to control us. We shouldn’t let our anger make us take actions and/or say things that we will later regret. Also, Allah (SWT) in the Holy Quran teaches us to seek refuge with Him (SWT) from the Shaytan who encourages us to become extremely angry and act out immorally in our anger.
There are two types of anger, one that pleases Allah (SWT) and the second that pleases the self or Shatyan. The type of anger that pleases Allah (SWT) is the natural human emotion that isn’t within our control to stop ourselves from it. Allah (SWT) describes the anger of Musa (AS) in the Holy Quran (Surah Al-Araf, Ayat 154) when he (AS) found his people worshipping a golden idol, “And when the anger of Musa was appeased, he took up the tablets, and in their writing, there is guidance and mercy for those who fear their Lord.” Musa’s (AS) anger subsided once his people repented and returned to Allah (SWT) along with Allah (SWT) consoling him (AS).
Similarly, the Prophet’s (SAW) tone became angry when delivering the Friday sermons, “When Allah’s Messenger (SAW) delivered the sermon, his eyes became red, his voice rose, and his anger increased” (Sahih Muslim 867a). Our Nabi (SAW) would become irritated whenever he was commanding people to the path of good if they were straying away from it. The examples of Musa (AS) and our Prophet (SAW) show that being angry in a moment isn’t negligence in our relationship with Allah (SWT) if it’s justified for a specific reason.
Ghadab in Arabic is the anger that pleases the self that takes us to an emotionally heightened state and causes us to lose control. When we are in a state of ghadab, we might say or do inappropriate things which we are still accountable for in front of Allah (SWT), society, and Sharia.
In another hadith (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1320), our Nabi (SAW) said, “When you are angry, be silent.” The Prophet (SAW) is advising us to refrain from exchanging words and hold our tongue when in a state of anger.
In the Prophet’s Masjid, the Prophet (SAW) witnessed a harsh exchange between two Sahabee that uttered undignified words to each other. The Prophet turned to the other Sahabah and said, “I know of a wording; if he were to utter that, he would get out (of the fit of anger) (and the wording is): I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed.” (Sahih Muslim 2610 b) Again, this hadith is emphasizing the importance to seek refuge from Allah (SWT) from Shaytan whenever we are angry.
Another piece of advice from the Prophet (SAW) is to sit down if standing when we are angry. This will limit our physical commotion to others as it is better to sit than to move around when mad. On the contrary, if we are already sitting and mad then our Nabi (SAW) advise lying down (Sunan Abi Dawud 4782). The Prophet (SAW) is simply guiding us to change our physical state when we are in a state of agitation, i.e., better to walk away from the place of disturbance or the people who are making us mad.
In the early days of Makkah, an incident occurred with the Prophet (SAW) while sitting with Hazrat Abu Bakr (RA) in which a despicable man began to verbally abuse our Nabi (SAW). Hazrat Abu Bakr (RA) was furious but didn’t do anything and remained silent while the Prophet (SAW) ignored the man and just smiled. This vile man returns and again, abuses the Prophet (SAW) and Abu Bakr (RA). The man returns a third time to abuse them but this time, Hazrat Abu Bakr (RA) angrily responds by using the same words of this repugnant man. However, Abu Bakr (RA) understood that he (RA) made a mistake when our Nabi (SAW) got up and left.
Abu Bakr (RA) went after the Prophet (SAW) to explain that he (RA) couldn’t control his anger anymore, as this man was spewing vitriol against the Prophet of Allah (SWT). Our Nabi (SAW) responded to Abu Bakr (RA), “Verily, there was an angel with you responding on your behalf, but Satan appeared when you responded with the same words as him and I will not sit in the presence of Satan.” (Musnad Ahmad 9411). This demonstrates to us that we should not remain in an environment full of anger.
In a hadith, the Prophet promises a man that he will receive a reward if he controls his anger, “Do not get angry and you will have a place in heaven.” (Al-Targhib wat-Tarhib 3/1662)
It’s important to learn the following anger management techniques: We should remember that we are not alone, as Allah (SWT) is witness to our anger and that we should seek the help of others to solve our problems; We should do some introspection and consider we might have wronged someone. Thus, this may be a way of Allah (SWT) cleansing and de-stressing us of our wrongdoing; Learn that anger usually serves no purpose.
In the incident of the two Sahabee viciously arguing with each other in front of the Prophet (SAW), he (SAW) didn’t stop them or speak to them. From a fiqh perspective, we learn that our Nabi (SAW) at times would allow people to argue it out and not interfere until it was over and those involved felt ashamed before helping them out. Therefore, we need to know when to give people space when they are angry.
We must remember that Allah (SWT) rewards those who control their anger and hence, let this be our motivation to follow the Prophetic example. If anyone had a license to be mad, it was the Prophet (SAW) but his (SAW) life story is one of patience, perseverance, love, and forgiveness. And let us also remember the sage words of Syedna Ali (AS), “Anger begins with madness and ends with regret.”
