We have this common belief that when we make duaa (supplication), Allah (SWT) will immediately solve our problem, or else, He (SWT) is not happy with us. However, this can’t be further from the truth.
We often confuse duaa with talab. Talab in Arabic means to ask or demand something whereas duaa means to call. It is true that when we make duaa to Allah (SWT), sometimes we are requesting something from Him (SWT). At the end of the day, all these requests are a humble slave of Allah (SWT) turning back to Him (SWT) and begging Allah (SWT) to solve your problems. The value in making dua comes from just engaging Allah (SWT) in conversation. Allah (SWT) resolving your problems is a separate matter.
The story of Maryam (Assalam Alayha), the mother of Essa (AS) is a moving example. She was in such shock when the angel told her that she will have a child – to her, this was the worst punishment. She prayed to Allah (SWT) that she would rather die than face humiliation in her community. As it turns out, the child who caused all that grief, Prophet Essa (AS), was the reason she is being honored until today, thousands of years later.
Maryam (AA) is one of the few individuals whose birth is mentioned in the Holy Quran due to its peculiarity. Her mother was expected a son but gave birth to a daughter and Allah (SWT) says in the Quran that this girl is like no other boy and is something special, ‘My Lord, I have borne a female [child]’—and Allah knew better what she had borne, and the male [child she expected] was no match for the female [child she had borne] —‘and I have named her Mary…” (3: 36).
One day, the angel Jibreel in the guise of a handsome man appeared to Maryam (AA) and revealed that he was a messenger of her Lord (SWT) to give her a glad tiding of a pure boy. Maryam (AA) questioned how could she have a child when no man has touched her and becomes stunned.
After having the baby, Maryam (AA) returns to her village with the baby in hand. The villagers who previously revered her as a spiritual woman who grew up under the tutelage of Zakariya (AS), Maryam (AA) is now facing humiliation by the entire village, as they believe she has given birth to an illegitimate child.
If we go back to the moment when she was giving birth, Maryam (AA) hopes that she dies giving birth to avoid the humiliation she knows that she will face by the community. This is the only place in the Holy Quran that anyone wishes for death, as Allah (SWT) reminds us that sometimes people go through traumatic situations that they wish for death.
Besides wishing for death, Maryam (AA) also hopes to be forgotten and that nobody misses or remembers her now or in the future.
All the trials and tribulations faced by Maryam (AA) due to the birth of Essa (AS) are not because of Allah (SWT) hating or humiliating her but all these trials ended up becoming Allah (SWT) honouring her. There is no other prophet in the Quran who when Allah (SWT) mentions his name he also honours his parents except Essa (AS). Essa (AS) ibn Maryam or Jesus the son of Mary is repeated many times in the Quran showing that Allah (SWT) is honoring Essa’s (AS) mother.
For the Arab and Semitic people, the father’s name comes after the word ‘ibn’. However, in the case of Essa (AS), his mother’s name is attached after ‘ibn’, as this serves as a reminder from Allah (SWT) that he has no father and we are going out of our way to honor the mother; hence, Essa (AS) ibn Maryam.
Sometimes your pain will be a relief for other people. This is the pain of Maryam (AA). Every time a woman is humiliated, falsely accused, or wishes death than to face ridicule coming her way, she will find comfort in Maryam (AA). Every time she finds that comfort, the rank of Maryam (AA) rises.
Our duaas are a means to connect to Allah (SWT), not a means that our world becomes a paradise. The world is full of trials and that struggle is a part of life. The purpose of duaa is to help deal with our struggles.
No matter how much people try to humiliate or insult you, Allah (SWT) still honors you. There is a huge difference between what people say about you and what Allah (SWT) thinks about you. If you go by what people said, Maryam (AA) was the most humiliated and insulted person in society but if you go by what Allah (SWT) says then she (AA) is one of the most honored women in human history. We must believe in what Allah (SWT) says because He (SWT) is the one who honors us.
