A few years ago, a social media marketing expert bumped at a graphic design firm in Clifton, asking, “Do you use Facebook?” “Yes, I do!” “Write posts?” He inquired, ” yes write a little bit,” I replied. “Correct me if I’m wrong, likes will come only on pictures” he further inquired and went on to say that I think only a few likes will come on written posts. I said not 2 or 4, a little more than it, but really less than the pictures. “ Correct me if I’m wrong, but 10 to 20 likes will come on the written posts? I can make you a well-known social media activist and your good written posts will also get up to hundred likes,” he said. I replied not 10 to 20 but a litter more. He asked in an angry tone, 30 or 40? I replied a little more. 60? He asked. I said a little more. Are you a social media activist? He inquired. Absolutely not, I replied. Took a long jump, he asked have you ever had 150 likes? I said I take that in 30 minutes! He laughed out loud and said, “Okay! So you’ve been making me fool for so long.” Seeing in his eyes I also smiled in response. “Believe me you can get a hundred likes if you become a social media activist”, he said. When I felt he is converting to full English, I took out my cell phone from my pocket and opened my Facebook account in front of him. As he scrolled down, the color faded and he finally said with a big grin, “Why do you get so many likes, aren’t you a celebrity?” I replied “Celebrities are roaming in half-naked attire, do you see me half nude? —He said in an incredible tone, “So many likes only come on pages, how do you get them on your account?” I said: because I am not a social media activist.
Let me tell you what a social media activist is? And are you a social media activist or not? If your Facebook post gets between 30 and 60 likes on average. If in your opinion there is no better person in Pakistan than you? You treat your country on social media the same way a bad mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law. In your opinion, Dr. Pervez Hoodbai and other scientists like him could not invent anything just because the Maulvis tease them by tickling them. You consider Allama Iqbal a third-class thinker and poet. You think nudity is the only criterion of greatness in the fine arts. You consider those who teach patriotism to be servants of the establishment. If you are an atheist but always say “Oh my God!” If you call out yourself an anti-Islam but you try to prove yourself sympathetic to the Qadianis by trying to prove them Muslims. When something goes wrong, you remember the feces (oh shit) instead of God. If you spend the Eid day of Muslims sleeping but attend Christmas and Holi celebrations with restraint. Your Ideology is secular but you participate in political rallies with Imam Zaman on your arm. Under normal circumstances, you object to the Maulvi’s activities and in the event of bloodshed, take the position that “the Olama should play their part” and you consider Pakistan’s interference in Afghan affairs is against international law but support US intervention in Pakistan. In short, if you have all the hallmarks of hypocrisy, you are a social media activist!
A doctor said to an auto mechanic, “If you could study, you wouldn’t have to do this, you would have lived a clean life like me.” In the same way, the doctor’s hands are covered in the blood and pus of the patient in his clinic, but the mechanic was also a part-time intellectual on Facebook, so he took the matter to heart and left to become a doctor. He worked hard and one day became a doctor. When he opened a clinic in a posh area of the city, the auto mechanic’s mind dominated the clinic and he started treating the patients like a mechanic. To the eye patient, he used to say: “I don’t do repairing work of headlights, you turn to an electrician… To a sore throat patient: “You have to go to the radiator master!” and as a result, his clinic failed. When economic hardships forced him to reopen the workshop where he started using medical terminologies while talking to his clients. So in a few days, his workshop also failed. Something similar happens to those Facebook intellectuals who have left their workshop to become intellectuals in a desire for a clean life. They have also started the above-mentioned movements, some of them have taken out their funeral and the others will do the same tomorrow if not today.
